There was a speech online about how to become mentally strong. A few nights ago I chose to listen to it. The speaker started by explaining three important points of becoming mentally strong: unhealthy beliefs of ourselves, unhealthy beliefs about others and unhealthy beliefs about the world.

The secret to becoming mentally strong is to give up your bad habits. Belligerent, compulsive, harsh, irresponsible, vulgar.

These five things are just a few of the bad habits I find many people fall victim to. While many people have these characteristics, what they also do not realize is they are not permanent personality traits. They can be changed. People do not have to succumb to what others think, of themselves or of others.

Mental strength is a lot like physical strength. If you want to be physically strong, you need to go to the gym and lift weights. But if you REALLY wanted to see results, you also have to give up junk food. Mental strength is the same – if you want to be mentally strong, you need good habits like practicing gratitude. But you also have to give up bad habits like resenting someone else’s success. No matter how often it happens, it will hold you back.

The only way to get through uncomfortable emotions is to go through them. You have to let yourself feel sad and move on. You need to move on in order to gain confidence in your ability to deal with that discomfort.

Accept that you’re your own person and other people are separate from you. The only person you should compare yourself to is the person that you were yesterday.

Your world is what you make it. But before you can change your world, you need to believe you can change it.

As the days go on, people continue to send me nasty emails, texts, messages or comment on my blog regarding my choices in life. I will repeat myself until the end of time. I am not here to please others nor give in to what they want. I am my own person and will do the things I need to in order to make myself happy. I will never live my life as a people pleaser.

Two years is all it takes apparently to find your true self. I have found myself throughout all of the loss and heartbreak I have endured and as I compare myself to who I was yesterday, I have learned that I am my own best company. In order to be mentally strong, I have to cut out the bad habits in my life, or in my case the people. Ignorance and callous are the two characteristics I find as a mental strength. A mental strength that I have a tendency to find in others. The majority of people that I have lost throughout the last two years appear to have those two characteristics in common whether they know it or not.

For the ignorant and callous people following my blog, I will repeat myself. I am in love with a man named Jacob Daniel Vogel and nothing anyone can say or do will change my mind. If anyone has an issue or believes everything they read, feel free to stay out of my life. I do not need you, nor do I need your approval.

Unhealthy beliefs about the world come about because we want things to be fair. If we put in enough good ideas, enough good things will happen to us. However, if we tough it out through enough bad times, we’ll get some kind of reward.

Ultimately, you have to accept that life is NOT fair. That can be liberating – that means you won’t be rewarded for your goodness but it also means that no matter how much you have suffered, you’re not doomed to keep suffering. I would like to think that I know more than any of my readers how unfair the world really is. There is nothing anyone can do to change it. We must live in a world that is what we make it – and I choose to make it good.

There will always be people who have beliefs that I, myself, are unhealthy, or that I find my beliefs about others are unhealthy and that my beliefs on the world are unhealthy. But after listening to this speech, I have learned that THOSE people are unhealthy and THOSE people are my bad habits.

“The best way to break a bad habit is to drop it.” -Leo Aikman