To the one I looked up to,

For the past 23 years, you used to always be a role model to me. The one I went to when I needed advice. Whether that advice came to how is was not cool to wear neon blue eye shadow up to my eyebrows, what to do when a boyfriend breaks my heart, how to pass high school chemistry, or how not to wear socks with sandals in the summer. Throughout the years, you have been my role model. I used to look up to you. I used to wish I would grow up and be the woman you have turned out to be. You were always the one I looked up to.

You were an escape when I needed time away. You were my out when I needed a fresh start and a new beginning. You were a shoulder to cry on when I was feeling lost with my life and needed a motivational push to keep moving forward. You were always the one I looked up to.

Throughout the past seven months, a lot has changed with our relationship. Your actions have put you in a separate place in my life as well as my heart. You seem to think that you are a much better of a person than others, allowing you to somehow feel more entitled, which therefore gives you the right to be degrading and rude. You are supposed to be a role model, a best friend, and a big sister but your current actions have shown me otherwise.

In the beginning, it used to break my heart reading the hurtful things you would send to me. Now, seven months later, I stand at a point in my life where I do not need people like you to be a part of it. I am able to stand tall and be confident with myself and the decisions I make regarding my own life. When it comes to people like you, I realize that sometimes it is better to block out their negativity than to let it tear you down.

At night, when I sit and think about all of the harassing texts, emails and screenshots you have sent me:

• “I hope you’re not going to Madison tomorrow to support a child rapist.”
• “Hope he likes prison food. Because he could be there until he’s almost 65.”
• “Our entire family thinks you’ve lost your mind, by the way.”
• “When the dust settles, Jake won’t be there to pick up the pieces. Your family will. So don’t cut us off so quickly.”
• “What are you going to do when he’s convicted? Stay with him? He’s a pedophile and he cheated on you. He doesn’t care about you. I hope you’re smarter than you seem.”
• “If you’re with him right now, I’m going to vomit in my mouth. You need to get out of his house. He is such a creep. I can’t believe you’re standing by him. He’s sick, Kaitlyn.”
• “I’m disgusted that he’s out on bail.”
• “Thankful to be sleeping with a child rapist. You look like a fucking moron.”

It brings me to me knees on how a woman who deals with death and dying everyday can act like this without any sympathy.

According to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Article 11, (1) Everyone charged with a penal offense has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty according to law in a public trial at which he has had all the guarantees necessary for his defense.

From this day forward, I will not allow myself to continue breaking down when they send me derogatory comments. I will not allow myself to continue feeding in to their negativity. I will not allow people to feel obligated to tell me how I should live my life just because they do not agree with the choices I have made.

Thanks to you, I am able to confidently say that I know the type of woman I will grow up to be. She will be someone who is forgiving and heartfelt. She will be someone who accepts others choices without judgement. She will be someone others will look up to. She will be strong and independent. And she will be nothing like you.

“It’s not easy to detach from people you’ve had close ties with but sometimes its necessary in order to restore your sanity and your peace of mind.”